It
doesn’t matter what grade your child is in - making new friends can be
hard. If your child is attending a new
school, it’s natural to be nervous. Some kids believe the more friends you
have, the more popular you are. The truth is,
a child only needs one or two close friends to gain self-esteem and a sense of
belonging.
Here
are some tips to share with your child to help them make new friends – good
friends – at school.
Take a deep breath.
Keep things in perspective: you're going to a new school
where there will be lots of kids your age. One good strategy is to find other
kids who are new to the school. You’ll have this unfamiliar environment in
common, with lots to talk about (comparing your classes and the teachers, doing
homework assignments, and selecting extracurricular activities).
Take the first step.
Be open to meeting
new people who are different from you - the school will have kids from all
different cultures and backgrounds. Keep your head up, and make eye contact
with other people. Introduce yourself (to other kids and to adults) and remember that your smile will help make
introductions easier. Try to sit in the middle of the class where you have
people all around and you can make conversation. You can ask
a question (Do you know if the cafeteria
food is any good?), talk about the school (I heard they have a great softball team), or offer a compliment (I really like your shoes!) to get a
conversation started.
Get involved.
Probably the best strategy to make
new friends is to pursue your own interests. Take part in the after-school
activities you like. Join the choir, try
out for the team, or be part of the Drama club! You’ll meet lots of people with
different personalities and share a common interest with everyone in the group.
Practice
the golden rule.
Remember? Treat others as you want to be treated
yourself. Show kindness and respect
toward everyone you meet, and don't judge
others before you get to know them. Do nice things because you want to, and not because you need
to. Help pick up books
dropped on the floor. Save a seat. Pay a compliment. Everyone appreciates kindness.
Be yourself.
Stay
true to who you are. Don’t fake an
interest or change yourself to try to fit in with a particular group. Anyone
who doesn’t accept you for you won’t be a real friend. If you
approach others authentically, you will attract people who want to connect with
you, and you’ll
find your future true friends among them.
Be aware.
Many kids will already know each
other, and there will be cliques – established groups of friends with common
interests and personalities. There may be groups of “mean
girls” or “thugs” or whatever – people you want to avoid for a while. You don’t
want to judge them, because they may be very nice people! Clearly, you want to
stay away from the types of kids who are in gangs and involved in criminal
activities. Be yourself! Be strong!
Don’t try to please others if it doesn't please you.
Choose
well.
Like it or not, you
become like the people you hang out with. Your friends are going to influence
your behavior, so choose those who will be a positive influence! Ask yourself these questions when you select
your friends: Will they lift me up or drag me down? Will spending time with them help me to
become my best self? Will I be happier after spending time with them? Can I
trust them with my dreams and goals? If
not, find friends who will.
Remember: when it comes to friends, go for quality over quantity.
