Tips to Help Your Child Make New Friends

It doesn’t matter what grade your child is in - making new friends can be hard.  If your child is attending a new school, it’s natural to be nervous. Some kids believe the more friends you have, the more popular you are.  The truth is, a child only needs one or two close friends to gain self-esteem and a sense of belonging. 

Here are some tips to share with your child to help them make new friends – good friends – at school.

Take a deep breath. 

Keep things in perspective: you're going to a new school where there will be lots of kids your age. One good strategy is to find other kids who are new to the school. You’ll have this unfamiliar environment in common, with lots to talk about (comparing your classes and the teachers, doing homework assignments, and selecting extracurricular activities).

Take the first step. 

Be open to meeting new people who are different from you - the school will have kids from all different cultures and backgrounds. Keep your head up, and make eye contact with other people. Introduce yourself (to other kids and to adults) and remember that your smile will help make introductions easier. Try to sit in the middle of the class where you have people all around and you can make conversation. You can ask a question (Do you know if the cafeteria food is any good?), talk about the school (I heard they have a great softball team), or offer a compliment (I really like your shoes!) to get a conversation started.

Get involved. 

Probably the best strategy to make new friends is to pursue your own interests. Take part in the after-school activities you like.  Join the choir, try out for the team, or be part of the Drama club! You’ll meet lots of people with different personalities and share a common interest with everyone in the group. 

Practice the golden rule. 

Remember?  Treat others as you want to be treated yourself.  Show kindness and respect toward everyone you meet, and don't judge others before you get to know them. Do nice things because you want to, and not because you need to. Help pick up books dropped on the floor.  Save a seat.  Pay a compliment.  Everyone appreciates kindness.

Be yourself. 

Stay true to who you are.  Don’t fake an interest or change yourself to try to fit in with a particular group. Anyone who doesn’t accept you for you won’t be a real friend.  If you approach others authentically, you will attract people who want to connect with you, and you’ll find your future true friends among them.

Be aware. 

Many kids will already know each other, and there will be cliques – established groups of friends with common interests and personalities. There may be groups of “mean girls” or “thugs” or whatever – people you want to avoid for a while. You don’t want to judge them, because they may be very nice people! Clearly, you want to stay away from the types of kids who are in gangs and involved in criminal activities. Be yourself! Be strong!  Don’t try to please others if it doesn't please you.

Choose well. 

Like it or not, you become like the people you hang out with. Your friends are going to influence your behavior, so choose those who will be a positive influence!  Ask yourself these questions when you select your friends: Will they lift me up or drag me down?  Will spending time with them help me to become my best self? Will I be happier after spending time with them? Can I trust them with my dreams and goals?  If not, find friends who will. 

Remember: when it comes to friends, go for quality over quantity.

Is Your Child Overstimulated?

Not likely. The biggest problem most of our children have during the summer break is a lack of stimulation.  Here are some ways you can help your children stay at the top of their game through the summer. 

Read   Reading is one of the best ways for students to expand their vocabulary and stretch their imagination. The most important thing is to make sure they’re reading something.  So whether it’s a book, a magazine, the newspaper, or a comic book – reading is worthwhile!

Community Service   Spending time helping others is a great way to feel more connected and meet new friends. 

Build a Portfolio   Have your student create a portfolio of projects they have worked on and include a narrative that provides context and explains what they are.  When presented to colleges and potential employers, it creates a compelling case for acceptance. Portfolios should be updated each year.

Learn A Useful Life Skill   If your student will be heading to college, make sure they know the key self-sufficiency skills.  Cooking – doing the laundry – cleaning the bathroom – balancing the checkbook . . . so much to know!

Learn A New, Fun Skill  Have your child learn something like a new sport, drawing, or cooking - and get really good at it.  This builds self-confidence that will carry over to the other many new experiences coming their way.  

Internship   If your child believes they know their desired career path, this is a perfect time for an internship with a local business in that industry. This valuable experience can help them confirm their interest in that field or decide to look elsewhere. 

Test Preparation  If college is in the future, SAT/ACT test preparation may be worthwhile.  Strong test scores can result in recurring annual scholarships worth tens of thousands of dollars.  And remember - we can help!