Tips to Help Your Child Make New Friends

It doesn’t matter what grade your child is in - making new friends can be hard.  If your child is attending a new school, it’s natural to be nervous. Some kids believe the more friends you have, the more popular you are.  The truth is, a child only needs one or two close friends to gain self-esteem and a sense of belonging. 

Here are some tips to share with your child to help them make new friends – good friends – at school.

Take a deep breath. 

Keep things in perspective: you're going to a new school where there will be lots of kids your age. One good strategy is to find other kids who are new to the school. You’ll have this unfamiliar environment in common, with lots to talk about (comparing your classes and the teachers, doing homework assignments, and selecting extracurricular activities).

Take the first step. 

Be open to meeting new people who are different from you - the school will have kids from all different cultures and backgrounds. Keep your head up, and make eye contact with other people. Introduce yourself (to other kids and to adults) and remember that your smile will help make introductions easier. Try to sit in the middle of the class where you have people all around and you can make conversation. You can ask a question (Do you know if the cafeteria food is any good?), talk about the school (I heard they have a great softball team), or offer a compliment (I really like your shoes!) to get a conversation started.

Get involved. 

Probably the best strategy to make new friends is to pursue your own interests. Take part in the after-school activities you like.  Join the choir, try out for the team, or be part of the Drama club! You’ll meet lots of people with different personalities and share a common interest with everyone in the group. 

Practice the golden rule. 

Remember?  Treat others as you want to be treated yourself.  Show kindness and respect toward everyone you meet, and don't judge others before you get to know them. Do nice things because you want to, and not because you need to. Help pick up books dropped on the floor.  Save a seat.  Pay a compliment.  Everyone appreciates kindness.

Be yourself. 

Stay true to who you are.  Don’t fake an interest or change yourself to try to fit in with a particular group. Anyone who doesn’t accept you for you won’t be a real friend.  If you approach others authentically, you will attract people who want to connect with you, and you’ll find your future true friends among them.

Be aware. 

Many kids will already know each other, and there will be cliques – established groups of friends with common interests and personalities. There may be groups of “mean girls” or “thugs” or whatever – people you want to avoid for a while. You don’t want to judge them, because they may be very nice people! Clearly, you want to stay away from the types of kids who are in gangs and involved in criminal activities. Be yourself! Be strong!  Don’t try to please others if it doesn't please you.

Choose well. 

Like it or not, you become like the people you hang out with. Your friends are going to influence your behavior, so choose those who will be a positive influence!  Ask yourself these questions when you select your friends: Will they lift me up or drag me down?  Will spending time with them help me to become my best self? Will I be happier after spending time with them? Can I trust them with my dreams and goals?  If not, find friends who will. 

Remember: when it comes to friends, go for quality over quantity.

OUCH! Your Backpack Is Killing Me!

Florida's tax-free holiday begins today, so you know it's back-to-school season. We’re out there buying school supplies, clothes, and the very necessary things our kids need to begin the new school year. One of the most important of those items is the perennial backpack. 

It’s used to carry your child’s weight in books, folders, binders, notebooks, permission slips, teacher’s notes, calculators, pens, pencils, lunches, keys, and cell phones. Your child may also carry a laptop PC or tablet. Kids involved in sports will stuff water bottles, sports equipment, (dirty!) clothes and shoes into it.

So, what do you need to consider when choosing a backpack for school?  Three things: fashion, fit, and function (not necessarily in that order).  Style is an important feature of a school backpack, especially to elementary and middle-schoolers. Your child will want a bag that is fashionable and looks good. High school students have different needs, and will be more selective about the specific features of the backpack.  And you just want to be sure you get the best value for your money.  

Here are some tips that may help . . . 

FASHION   

• Backpacks made from recycled materials are very fashionable right now. An eco-friendly bag may be a good choice.
• They’ll be wearing the bag every day. Will they want their backpack to match, or at least not clash with, their school clothes? While prints are lots of fun, they may want to consider solid colors too.
• What kind of bag will best handle the kind of load your child will be carrying?
• Messenger bags have one wide cross-body strap, and may be considered more fashionable than a traditional backpack. 
• A bag with two shoulder straps will allow for better weight distribution, and many have waist straps that help distribute the weight of very heavy loads. 
• A wheeled backpack may be a good option to consider if your child routinely carries a heavy load, even though they can sometimes be difficult to navigate in crowded areas.  Be sure your child can handle the weight of the bag when it’s full of books, including the added weight of the handle, frame, and wheels.

FUNCTION

• Take a good look at the size of the bag – will it accommodate the size and types of objects your student will be carrying?  Does the main pocket have enough room for the number of books and binders your child will be carrying at one time? Are there separate pockets for lunch, gym clothes, and cell phone?  A protective pocket for the laptop or tablet? 
• The fabric the bag is made of should be durable, breathable and lightweight. Synthetic fabrics are more lightweight and water-resistant than natural materials like leather and cotton. If you’re looking for an eco-friendly bag, consider a bag made of a natural fiber, like hemp.  Many backpacks can be machine-washed.
• The zippers, hardware and pocket closures should be sturdy and easy to close, made of quality, heavy-duty materials.
• Some manufacturers offer guarantees on their backpacks - make it a point to look for these great deals!

FIT    

• Your bag should have wide, padded, adjustable straps so you can position the bag against the strongest part of your back, about two inches above the waist.  Some bags have added padding on the back to make it more comfortable for the user.
• If you shop for your backpack online, you’ll usually have the widest selection and the best prices. Online sellers like Amazon and Zappos have a wide selection of bags and often offer free shipping.
• It's best to shop for your backpack in brick-and-mortar stores so your child can try on the bag, make sure it fits well, and examine it inside and out to understand all its special features. Luggage stores, sporting goods stores and outdoors retailers often have specialized salespeople who can help you select a bag with a proper fit.

The bottom line? Your child may not agree, but they do need your help with this important buying decision.   Happy Shopping!

Help Your Child Conquer their Back-to-School Fears

When you think back to when you started your last “new” job, do you remember how you felt on your first day?  More than a little anxious about how things would go - praying the commute would be problem-free - hoping your coworkers would be easy to get along with - wondering what your boss would be like - and just hoping to fit in. 

Now, imagine what your child must feel like going into a new grade - or a new school. They have the same kinds of worries you would have. Here are some things you can do to help them through this time of transition.

Use books to start conversations. Go to the library or local bookstore to get some back-to-school stories. You’ll find there are many to select from, geared to many different age levels.  You can use these stories to talk to your child about any fears they may have, and help turn those fears to anticipation and excitement. 

Tour the school.  If you child is switching to a new school, a visit during the weeks before school begins can be a big comfort.  Call the school office and ask if you can schedule a tour, or just come for an informal visit. Learn where homeroom is.  Walk through the library. Play on the playground. Find the bathrooms! Those things make a big difference.

Meet the teacher.  Take advantage of any opportunity for your child to meet their teacher before school begins.  If you can find a picture of the teacher on the school web site, post it on the fridge so the teacher’s face becomes familiar to your child.

Start the transition ahead of time.  Many kids have ignored their sleep schedule during the summer months.  The weeks before school begins is a good time for the whole family to ease back into the school-year schedule to ensure your child gets enough sleep.

Practice!  Let your child organize their school supplies and a work area in a quiet place at home. And if they’ll be using a combination lock, make sure they practice opening and locking it until they have that skill down pat.  Another valuable organizational skill is the ability to use a planner.  Even first grade isn’t too early to use a planner – they have them for children of all ages.  If the school doesn’t require that they use one, get one for your child and help them learn how to use it: write down every homework assignment, every upcoming test, and every project.

Find friends.  Try to get the class list in advance or find out which teacher your child will have. If you find that your child's best friend isn't in her new class, arrange a play date with someone who is.  If your child is attending a new school and doesn’t know anyone, talk to them about how to make friends, and what it means to be a good friend.  You can role play to help them learn how to begin conversations and initiate play activities.

Address the gaps.  Finally, if you find that your child has missed some early foundational skills, there may be gaps in reading, writing or math.  At the #TutoringClubJacksonville, we identify these skill gaps with our diagnostic evaluations, and develop a customized plan for your child to get them back on track quickly.  Call us at 268-8556 to enroll your child today!

Is Your Child Behind Before the School Year Begins?

As we approach the end of summer, parents should consider their child’s readiness for the challenges they’ll face in the upcoming school year. The sooner you can identify skill gaps, the better your chances to correct any shortfalls before they become overwhelming for your child. 

Begin by discussing these questions with your child to help determine where potential problems may exist.

• Does your child manage their time wisely to complete assignments and prepare for tests?

• Does your child understand how to prioritize tasks?  Do they correctly identify and work on the most important tasks first?

• What are your child’s favorite subjects in school? How can you build on them as opportunities for higher learning? 

• Does your child have difficulty in completing work in one or more subjects? Which ones does your child enjoy the least?  Are there skill and knowledge gaps that contribute to those feelings?

You can help your child prepare for the new school year by creating a dedicated quiet area at home where school supplies can be stored and work can be done; establishing specific timeframes for homework and studying; and making schoolwork a priority, over and above extra-curricular activities.  

If you want to identify skill and knowledge gaps in specific subject areas, the Tutoring Club of Jacksonville can help.  We conduct assessments for all academic levels in Reading, Writing and Math. When you enroll your child, we create a personalized plan specifically for your student to address their individual needs, to fill existing gaps and build on their strengths.  

Parents who engage professional help to support their children’s learning send a message to their child that learning is important.  “With the help of our tutors, students overcome their learning gaps and regain their confidence – and that’s the key,” says Dana Edmonds, Director of the Tutoring Club of Jacksonville.  “When I get these kids to believe in themselves, that’s when they succeed.”  

At the Tutoring Club of Jacksonville, we focus on your whole child by Improving Academics, Instilling Confidence, and Building Character.  Call us at 268-8556 to discuss how we can help your child be ready for the new school year.   * Tell us you read our blog and receive 50% off diagnostic testing.