Helping Your Child Become Successful and Self-Assured

These are just a few things you can do to help your child be happy, healthy and confident. At the Tutoring Club of Jacksonville, we focus on your whole child, by improving academics, building character and instilling confidence.  Our kids love to come here; more importantly, they love the results they get from their work with us. Call us at 268-8556 to see how we can help your child.    

Let Your Child Make Decisions   When children have the opportunity to make choices, they’ll gain confidence in their own good judgment.  When they’re young, it’s best to give them two or three choices.  Rather than asking what they want to wear, for example, allow them to select between two or three outfits you’ve put together ahead of time.  And let them know there are other things that aren’t up for a vote, like swimming lessons, or weekly trips to the library, (or tutoring)!. 

Consider Your Compliments  If you tell your child "Good job!" with every accomplishment, or exaggerate your praise (“You’re the best player on the team!), they may have a hard time recognizing when their work is really worth celebrating.  Instead of praising your child when they do something they’re supposed to do, try a simple “Thanks” instead.  Make every effort to give very specific feedback. Instead of saying their artwork is beautiful, maybe you could praise them for their design or use of a particular color.  

Encourage Special Interests   Expose your child to many activities, and encourage them when they find interests they want to pursue. Kids who have a passion are proud of their expertise. And hobbies can be helpful for kids who find it difficult to fit in.  A student with a talent for painting, for example, may lead the pep squad in creating posters supporting the school’s sports team. 

Don’t Save Your Child   We all want to keep our child from getting hurt, but when you intervene, sometimes you’re not doing them any favors.  Kids will learn to succeed by overcoming obstacles, not by having the obstacles removed for them.  They need to know they can take risks without feeling their parents will criticize or correct them for doing something wrong.  We all learn by doing – and by being allowed to make mistakes without being reprimanded - or seeing you mess up without making a big deal about it - will help your kids understand that mistakes are part of life, and something to be learned from. It also teaches them to be accountable, and accepting of the consequences and rewards that come with their decisions and actions.

Look for Ways to Help Others   It’s empowering for a young child to help you with a project.  Seeing the effort and planning that grown-up tasks require, and watching their parent taking mistakes in stride, will make kids feel better when they have to work at their own projects in the future.

Tips to Help Your Child Make New Friends

It doesn’t matter what grade your child is in - making new friends can be hard.  If your child is attending a new school, it’s natural to be nervous. Some kids believe the more friends you have, the more popular you are.  The truth is, a child only needs one or two close friends to gain self-esteem and a sense of belonging. 

Here are some tips to share with your child to help them make new friends – good friends – at school.

Take a deep breath. 

Keep things in perspective: you're going to a new school where there will be lots of kids your age. One good strategy is to find other kids who are new to the school. You’ll have this unfamiliar environment in common, with lots to talk about (comparing your classes and the teachers, doing homework assignments, and selecting extracurricular activities).

Take the first step. 

Be open to meeting new people who are different from you - the school will have kids from all different cultures and backgrounds. Keep your head up, and make eye contact with other people. Introduce yourself (to other kids and to adults) and remember that your smile will help make introductions easier. Try to sit in the middle of the class where you have people all around and you can make conversation. You can ask a question (Do you know if the cafeteria food is any good?), talk about the school (I heard they have a great softball team), or offer a compliment (I really like your shoes!) to get a conversation started.

Get involved. 

Probably the best strategy to make new friends is to pursue your own interests. Take part in the after-school activities you like.  Join the choir, try out for the team, or be part of the Drama club! You’ll meet lots of people with different personalities and share a common interest with everyone in the group. 

Practice the golden rule. 

Remember?  Treat others as you want to be treated yourself.  Show kindness and respect toward everyone you meet, and don't judge others before you get to know them. Do nice things because you want to, and not because you need to. Help pick up books dropped on the floor.  Save a seat.  Pay a compliment.  Everyone appreciates kindness.

Be yourself. 

Stay true to who you are.  Don’t fake an interest or change yourself to try to fit in with a particular group. Anyone who doesn’t accept you for you won’t be a real friend.  If you approach others authentically, you will attract people who want to connect with you, and you’ll find your future true friends among them.

Be aware. 

Many kids will already know each other, and there will be cliques – established groups of friends with common interests and personalities. There may be groups of “mean girls” or “thugs” or whatever – people you want to avoid for a while. You don’t want to judge them, because they may be very nice people! Clearly, you want to stay away from the types of kids who are in gangs and involved in criminal activities. Be yourself! Be strong!  Don’t try to please others if it doesn't please you.

Choose well. 

Like it or not, you become like the people you hang out with. Your friends are going to influence your behavior, so choose those who will be a positive influence!  Ask yourself these questions when you select your friends: Will they lift me up or drag me down?  Will spending time with them help me to become my best self? Will I be happier after spending time with them? Can I trust them with my dreams and goals?  If not, find friends who will. 

Remember: when it comes to friends, go for quality over quantity.

How to Help Your Child Be Successful and Self-Assured

Consider Your Compliments  If you tell your child "Good job!" with every accomplishment, or exaggerate your praise (“You’re the best player on the team!), they may have a hard time recognizing when their work is really worth celebrating.  Instead of praising your child when they do something they’re supposed to do, try a simple “Thanks” instead.  Make every effort to give very specific feedback. Instead of saying their artwork is beautiful, maybe you could praise them for their design or use of a particular color.  

Let Your Child Make Decisions   When your child has the opportunity to make choices, they’ll gain confidence in his own good judgment.  When they’re young, it’s best to give them two or three choices.  Rather than asking what they want to wear, for example, allow them to select between two or three outfits you’ve put together ahead of time.  And let them know there are other things that aren’t up for a vote, like swimming lessons, or weekly trips to the library. 

Cooking in the kitchen with Mom

Encourage Special Interests   Expose your child to many activities, and encourage them when they find interests they want to pursue. Kids who have a passion are proud of their expertise. And hobbies can be helpful for kids who find it difficult to fit in.  A student with a talent for painting, for example, may lead the pep squad in creating posters supporting the school’s sports team. 

Look for Ways to Help Others   It’s empowering for a young child to help you with a project.  Seeing the effort and planning that grown-up tasks require, and watching their parent taking mistakes in stride, will make kids feel better when they have to work at their own projects in the future.

Don’t Save Your Child   We all want to keep our child from getting hurt, but when you intervene you’re not doing them any favors.  Kids will learn to succeed by overcoming obstacles, not by having the obstacles removed for them.  They need to know they can take risks without feeling their parents will criticize or correct them for doing something wrong.  We all learn by doing – and by being allowed to make mistakes without being reprimanded - or seeing you mess up without making a big deal about it - will help your kids understand that mistakes are part of life, and something to be learned from.

These are just a few things you can do to help your child be happy, healthy and confident. At the Tutoring Club of Jacksonville, we focus on your whole child, by improving academics, building character and instilling confidence.  Our kids love to come here; more importantly, they love the results they get from their work with us.  Call us at 268-8556 to see how we can help your child.    

Have you prepared for the first day of school?

School starts in less than a week!  At the Tutoring Club of Jacksonville, we are so excited for our students as they enter their new grades, complete with their new set of challenges!  We are intently determined to partner with you, parents, to make this a fabulous school year for you and for your kids!

Have you bought school supplies?  Has your child finished their summer reading or math packets?  Have you been to orientation?  Have you started that new sleep schedule?  Have you gotten that sports physical or immunizations?

Well, if you haven't, don't panic.  But do at least try to get some of these things done and crossed off your list!  In the end, what matters is that your child is excited about the new school year, excited about seeing friends and taking new classes, and most of all, excited about taking that next step of independence and learning in the process.

Do all you can to help them be prepared.  And give them encouragement!  This really is an exciting time, no matter how chaotic the first week may end up being.  Help them be safe and secure.  Pay attention to school zones and buses, and walkers and bikers.  Be involved in their learning and help structure an environment conducive for homework.

And please, let us help.  Enroll  your child for curriculum that will enable their success in school  Whether it's tutoring for reading, math, study skills, SAT prep, or tutor-up for more advanced studies, we are there for you and your child!

We are looking forward to all the buzz in our center this week and next!  Keep smiling!